from a snowy walk in the Rattlesnake, Missoula, Montana

Sunday, December 13, 2015

A sudden realization....Day 13

I left Botswana in a zen zone. Several weeks before my departure...I was the opposite of zen. Crying in spin class or feeling like I needed a wine drip to get by...

The one morning I woke up perfectly calm. The zen zone had arrived. 

My COS was pretty uneventful. Almost surreal getting my PC ID card punched, shaking the DMO's hand and seeing him click the 'end service' button in the PC system. I hugged my favorite staff goodbye and had wet eyes. 

The next day I got on the airplane. It was as if this journey didn't happen....I wasn't sitting in my body. It was as if I was seeing this all from above. 

Many days later I looked at the calendar. December 10th. Which means that I only had 30 more days on this wonderful, crazy journey....

Then I cried. 

As the days tick down. The realness of my new life is bearing down on me. The life that I have lived is becoming a figment of my imagination. 

My tour guide asked me what I liked to do. My response was 'I don't know...' It came out of me automatically. After giving it some thought--I really don't know. 

Until I touch down, I will continue to savor my days. Live in the moment. And rediscover my passions. 

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