from a snowy walk in the Rattlesnake, Missoula, Montana

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Time--its irrelevant until its over

Time is a weird thing...I think it is weirder in the Peace Corps life than it is in my every day life. I say every day life, like I am not living a real life here. My life here is very much real--I work, I have (had) friends, I am a person here just as much as I am in America...That could be part of the problem...My life is split into two Botswana and America.

I digress....

All of a sudden it is August 1st. (WHATT??!?!?!??!)

I can no longer tell people I have been in Botswana “2 1/2 years” since its almost 3 years.

It seems like I have just moved to Gaborone. Nope. That was almost 10 months ago.

I feel like I have nothing to show for it. That is a complete lie.

I feel like a child. When in fact, I am an almost 29 year old woman who has done some pretty amazing things in these short years.

A brief recap on the past 10 months:

  • The Leadership Program (that crazy one I stayed on to run) opened its doors! It was a fighting up hill battle all the way and only took about six months to do. But I did it! We opened our doors in April and we have 32 enrolled youth. It has been unbelievable seeing them change and grow. Each of the participants are coming into their own. Sometimes I look at them and don’t want to leave....
  • It is August! Which means, all of my close friends have left Gaborone...It was very bitter-sweet seeing them off over the past few months. But this also means, my time here is almost done! December 11th. I will blink and it will be here. 
  • Some really amazing projects have just fallen in my lap! In Lehututu is seemed so hard to get things started, one of the benefits of being at such a connect organization is that people see us out! Lucky me I get to help coordinate! 
  • The other projects that I am coordinating are swimming along! I am keeping busy which is what I wanted! 
  • I went from missing “the village” everyday, to not at all. Not to say that I don’t miss it, I very much do...That life seems so removed from me. That chapter of life where all the really hard aspects are just a cool story--hey remember that time I lived without furniture for 18 months? Or electricity for two years....
  • I went on a rhino capture for conservation--of course, I have I can’t find the pictures that I uploaded from a friends camera of the trip, the pictures magically disappeared in my iPhoto...It was one of those unreal experiences. I am so glad that I had the opportunity to go on it! Perhaps if I ever get the photos I can write a blog about it. 
All along, I have said once I graduate, I will start the job hunt. Well, now that I have some initials behind my name and I have 4 1/2 months left--it is that time. Job hunting seems very overwhelming and scary! When I pull up job servers to look...this feeling of panic comes over me. Where do I want to live? What do I want to do?, usually, I don’t get very far. I am very sure that there have been points in my life where I felt like I had no direction. The world is my oyster right now. Everything I own is packed in my parents basement or will be on my back. Picking that one direction...seems toooooo much right now. 

With that being said, I am in the middle of a book that I need to finish....